I know that many whites are appalled at such an idea. I know that they often totally reject any, and all, responsibility for whatever racist crimes th...ir race has committed, and that's up to them; but Mara and I both feel that it is imperative that we, at least, adopt this way of dealing the social poison that racism is.So, in a way, I guess you could say that Mara and I, as a white married couple, are seeking some sort of 'atonement', some sort of 'penance', for what our white ancestors have. I believe that most of us were overcome by the enormity of what we had found. Now that the treasure was revealed my thoughts were 'what's next?' I mean honestly what do you do with such treasure? In the quiet of the moment I said as much to Edward and after some thought he bluntly answered, "Hell if I know."How could he know? What basis of experience prepares someone for this? After another moment of thought Edward added, "I thought we might find a few coins and souvenirs but this is almost. (Ouch.)It was sad how quickly I had run out of ideas. Apparently, my (self-)love life had been a one trick pony – and now it was headed for the knacker’s yard.Thus, I was condemned to lie awake, my thoughts spiraling around that one out-of-reach goal like water around a drain, a numb sort of throbbing in my core, too deep inside and too small to reach it and – when I pictured Michael masturbating in the dark – too shy to come out and play.“Casey, are you listening?”I jerked out of my thoughts. Maybe six months later - armed with a **** alarm and a Taser - I was going home late. Paranoid to every sound. As I turned onto my street a car pulled up at the kerb some way ahead. My neighbour was a lady in her 60s and it looked like her car.Looked like it.As I got beside it the passenger door opened. As I crooked my head down to say hello I was grabbed and hauled into the car, bundled awkwardly into the passenger seat as the car shrieked away up the road. I remember fear and being.
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